Can't Sleep Carnies Will Rape Me
by Kykura
Summary: Uhh..this story is kinda sick and it uses coarse language...so if you are offended please dont read..it was made just to give people an unusual laugh..please read and review


Hello people, this is my new fic, or at least one of them. My friend Torie and I wrote this. It is supposed to be sick and messed up so if you are offended please do not read on, that was your only warning. If you want a laugh, please read on. Please read and review!  
  
Can't Sleep; Carnies Will Rape Me  
  
Chapter 1: Day 1  
  
Jounochi stood for a long moment starring at something off in the distance. "What is it Jou?" Yugi asked, his tone sounded like he was talking to a dog. (ha the irony) "Carnies! They've come back to get me!" Jou said horrified. "What the hell would the want with you?" Honda laughed. "My virginity! They go from town to town raping people!" Jou growled.  
  
"Damn! You really need some fucking help!" Seto blurted rudely. "Oh, just you wait!" Jou said slyly. "Wait until they come to steal your virginity! That is, if you ARE a virgin," Jou laughed. "Oh shut the hell up mutt! None of your business who I've done," Seto yelled. "Oh, do tell!" Yami said intrigued. His eyes shinned with anticipation.  
  
"Well, see that girl over there? I don't exactly know her name but sure is a damn good one. She tends to scream, but mmmm so sweet," Seto replied with a smirk. Yugi wore a horrified and sick look on his face. "And you know Clara?" Seto continued. "Well, I took her virginity. And then while I was doing a strip club job I saw a girl that was staring at my nude flesh. Then after I was done we got a room."  
  
"And then there was this one time," Seto started. "I was gonna get a speeding ticket, I was on I-91 doin 105 in a 55 mph zone. The cop got out of his car, so did I. Then he came over to my BMW Roadster, and..well..I just pinned him to the hood of my fine car and well..I just kinda...butt- raped him till he passed out. Never got that ticket...he he he...and it was fun too!"  
  
"While we're on the subject," Bakura joined in. "I...in my ancient past...I...I was a necrophilia. I was a tomb robber, and I raped the dead pharaohs and high priests and everybody that interested me. All but one......Yami..he escaped me and I got to fuck Malik instead," Bakura laughed evilly. Ryou turned to give Bakura a queer look.  
  
"Well, I am gonna tell you a deep, dark secret about Yugi," Yami said. "NO YAMI, NO!" Yugi screamed with tears. "He he he...as a child Yugi...was raped by a carnie. And guess who that carnie was?" Yami asked with a grin. "Who?" Honda screamed. "I am gonna tell you so hold your fucking horses...Solomon Mouto!" Yami yelled. "HIS GRANDPA?" Anzu asked horrified. "Yes! His grandpa..when Yugi was five....grandpa was a carnie...and after grandma dies....grandpa got really fuckin' lonely," Yami explained.  
  
Yugi fainted at the thought of everybody knowing his secret. Bakura noticed this and tilted his head back and laughed wickedly. Then Mai walked in with an evilly happy smirk.  
  
"Hey Mai? Did you get some? Why are you so damn happy? I know you fucked somebody!" Seto laughed. Mai gave Seto a glare and then giggled. "So, what's his name?" Yami asked.  
  
"Fido," Mai replied simply. "That's an odd name," Seto said with a strange look upon his face. "Not for a dog!" Mai said. "You fucked a dog?" Bakura said appalled. "YES!! Yes I did, and damn it was sweet!" Mai yelled.  
  
"Well, that's just sick. At least I fuck real people!" Seto scowled. "Oh, we know," Yami laughed. "Hey Tea, I wanna fuck you to hell and back! You sweet, sweet pussycat!" Seto moaned. Tea giggled and Yugi's face wore a discussed look. It looked as if he was going to kill Seto with his bare hands. "Sorry Yugi," Seto laughed. "But you're not man enough to fuck her!"  
  
This remark pissed Yugi off. He growled and jumped to grasp Seto's throat. He of course missed due to his shortness and fell to the ground hard. Yami helped him up compassionately. "Are you okay?" Yami asked softly and with a smile. "Yes, I'll be fine," Yugi answered and his cheeks turned crimson.  
  
"You two are gay and damnit, everybody knows it. You might as well admit it and go fuck each other," Bakura said. Yami and Yugi both looked to each other and nodded. "So what if we are gay lovers?? What does it matter to you?" Yami growled. "Nothing, we're proud of you two, we never thought either of you would ever find love. But we never thought it would be towards each other if you did find it, it took us all by surprise," Tea said honestly. "Wow, really?" Yugi asked innocently. "Yes, truly. But please, don't try and hide your love for each other, it's more sick than the fact of you two in love. We'd all rather you just revile it in public than to ignore it in front of us. I think I speak for all of us when I say congratulations and good luck," Jounochi said with a grin. "Well, maybe not all of us," Honda scowled. "Oh you're just jealous 'cause nobody could ever love you, you sick bastard," Bakura scowled. Honda gave him an evil stare.  
  
**That's the end of the day one...as you can tell the chapters are gonna mostly just be excerpts from the actual days. Torie and I both know it's sick, but we wanted a change in the way Yu-Gi-Oh fics were presented. We wanted to make the readers laugh due to the sickness of the story. Please read and review! Thanks, luv ya lots ~Kyla** 


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